The Controversy Surrounding Gwyneth Paltrow’s Feedback on Discussing Ex Intercourse

Gwyneth’s newest podcast look revealed all (Photograph by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic )

To overshare or to not overshare. That’s the query.

Gwyneth Paltrow opted for the previous when she appeared on the Name Her Daddy podcast, and spoke candidly about intercourse along with her spectacular roster of exes together with Brad Pitt, Leonardo Di Caprio and Ben Affleck.

Dishing all of the finer particulars, she revealed who she thinks was extra romantic, and who was higher in mattress. She even performed a sport referred to as Brad or Ben, the place she determines who was the higher boyfriend between the sheets.

Apparently, she was very a lot in love with all the pieces Brad did, however Ben was ‘technically wonderful’. We’re undecided if that’s a praise or not.

Gwyneth and Alex Cooper spilt all the tea (Photo: Alexandra Cooper Instagram)

Whereas we will’t deny there’s part of us that’s loving listening to Gwen spill the tea, has she gone a bit too far?

Is it actually okay to obtain to a pal – or perhaps a new accomplice – about intercourse along with your ex?

Emma Spiegler, a love, relationship and sexuality coach from Zoe Clews and Associates notes that there might be some advantages in discussing previous flames with a brand new love. She says that sharing particulars about your sexual historical past might be liberating, cathartic. and construct belief.

At first, Emma says to deal with the stuff you’d like to alter from earlier encounters.

‘It’s about sharing the negatives reasonably than the positives,’ she says. ‘Something you discovered triggering, disagreeable or a turn-off that you simply don’t want to expertise once more.

‘That is very important info to share sensitively along with your accomplice and it’s wholesome communication.’

And does she believes the identical goes for sexual preferences?

‘It may well really feel intimidating,’ Emma warns. ‘However in case you are not letting a brand new accomplice know what’s working for you, then how are they to know?’

‘Sharing in an open, sincere and clear means about what works for you and what you’re searching for in a relationship is setting the tone for a relationship with sturdy foundations of belief and emotional security.’

Whereas Gwyneth feels comfy discussing intercourse from the previous, Emma does clarify that an overshare button could should be curbed, as there could also be potential downsides to sharing completely all the pieces.

‘Whereas it may be very tempting to share all of the finer particulars with an individual that we really feel protected with, we should be aware of oversharing in an try to hotwire intimacy.

‘Regardless that you could really feel that you’re in that top chemistry stage with a brand new relationship, the place you are feeling like you may discuss something, emotional security is all the time very important and that you must ensure you aren’t lacking the individual in entrance of you.

‘The reality is we simply don’t know the way somebody will really feel with all of that ex-sex intel in a while down the road, particularly if we’ve got shared technicolour particulars of simply how rattling good that swinging-from-the-chandelier high-octane sexathon was along with your earlier lover!’

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Whereas communication is essential, Emma says that there could also be some particulars which may trigger issues sooner or later.

‘What can really feel like a joyous ‘let’s share all the pieces’ turbo-bonding may effectively be a difficulty you battle with in a while, notably with a accomplice who could discover it tough to deal with the ‘third individual within the bed room’ – aka the ghost of your ex!’

She additionally shares that sexual historical past can create visuals, which might typically be exhausting to get out of a brand new accomplice’s head.

‘Once we share sexual historical past, particularly particulars, the visuals might be intrusive, particularly throughout intercourse and the potential for the power of these visuals is definitely stronger in the event that they know the individual.

She provides that it’s vital to take a look at boundaries from each side.

‘It’s vital to respect individuals’s boundaries, many people are able to jealousy irrespective of how safe we’re in ourselves. So if we’re straying into ‘TMI’ they usually tell us that, it’s very important to take that severely.’

Emma Spiegler says that some discussions about sex with an ex can be positive (Photo: ES Personal)

One other issue is discussing ex-sex with buddies.

‘It’s vital to know that you may belief this individual as a pal,’ Emma notes.

‘Are they a protected harbour or are they more likely to gossip and leak particulars again to your earlier companions that may very well be hurtful?

‘It’s vital to belief your intestine and your information of their confidentiality.’

Do you’ve a narrative to share?

Get in contact by emailing [email protected].


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