The Dilemma of Residing with a Spouse and Two Girlfriends: A Main Difficulty

What would you do? (Image: Metro.co.uk/Getty)

They are saying two’s firm, three’s a crowd. However 4? That’s merely annoying, in keeping with this week’s reader.

The lorry driver explains that he has a spouse and two girlfriends – considered one of whom is presently anticipating his child. But he’s uncertain who to decide to.

What ought to he do?

Earlier than you go, try final week’s dilemma, the place a reader requested whether or not cellphone intercourse with a stranger counted as dishonest on her husband.

The issue…

I do know this makes me sound horrible, however I’ve a spouse and two girlfriends, and it’s turn into a serious drawback. The worst of it’s that one of many ladies is anticipating my child.

I most likely come throughout like some man who simply places it about and doesn’t care about anybody besides himself, however I’m probably not like that. I genuinely don’t wish to damage any of them, which is partly what’s received me into this mess.

I’m in my late twenties and work as a lorry driver which takes me everywhere in the nation. I typically spend nights away, which may make life lonely and that’s how I ended up dishonest on my spouse the primary time. She found some attractive textual content messages on my cellphone and threw me out, which led to me shifting in with a mate. I began performing like a single bloke once more and once I wasn’t working, I used to be out partying.

Deep down I used to be lonely and fed up, so when a woman made it apparent she was , I went for it. I solely noticed her a couple of occasions, however she’s now pregnant, so I can’t simply flip my again.

My spouse needs to strive once more, and I do nonetheless have emotions for her, however in the meantime there’s this different woman I see on my driving job. Consider it or not, she is the one I like most and who provides me the least trouble.

Laura says…

I wouldn’t use the phrase ‘horrible’, however I might say you’re irresponsible and immature. Why didn’t you utilize safety when having intercourse with somebody you hardly knew? Intercourse could make infants, it’s not rocket science.

If this woman decides to maintain the newborn and the kid is unquestionably yours, you’ll have to assist assist it. So the very first thing it’s worthwhile to do is sit her down, clarify that you haven’t any intention of being her long run companion, and set up whether or not she is basically ready for all times as a single mum or dad. Given the total information, she might not need that.

You say you continue to have emotions on your spouse, so be trustworthy concerning the pregnant woman. Within the circumstances, your companion may be understanding, however don’t be stunned if she ends any hopes for the long run then and there. Within the occasion that she does nonetheless wish to strive once more, some {couples} counselling would possibly assist save your marriage.

As for the woman you see in your driving job, finish this relationship now. Till you type out the primary two issues you gained’t be able to commit, and admittedly, she deserves higher. Don’t contact her until sooner or later, you’re free to be a devoted and accountable boyfriend.

It’s arduous to really feel sorry for you, as you’ve clearly introduced this mess on your self. Attempt to unravel it, one drawback at a time, and begin performing extra like a grown-up. You’ll proceed to trigger a whole lot of damage to everybody, together with your self, if you happen to don’t.

Laura is a counsellor and columnist. Bought a intercourse and courting dilemma?

To get skilled recommendation, ship your drawback to [email protected]


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